An ode to douchebags

by Aleza Freeman

(A not-so-nursery rhyme-tastic ditty)

Douchebag, douchebag
lower than dirt, with a
spray tan beeyotch
and Ed Hardy shirt.
You think you’re so hot
you think you’re so fly
but you look like a fool
you’ve offended my eye.

You think you’re special
like Charlie Sheen,
but your Tiger Blood claim
is flat out obscene.
I’ve had it with douchebags
and douchebaggery,
what happened to
old fashioned chivalry?

Douchebag, douchebag
go away,
a douche today,
is a douchebag to stay.
Jump off a bridge or
move to Bombay*,
and don’t come back
another day.

 

*Mumbai was formerly known as Bombay. It was renamed in 1995 (thanks @NotATameLion and Kavita). But Mumbai doesn’t really rhyme with “stay” sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo there ya go … your history lesson o’ the day.

Written for One Shot Wednesday. Link your poem today. Read some great poems.

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