In Headlines – 2006

by Aleza Freeman

“Iran hates America,
loves KFC”
“Increased surveillance
in ‘Land of the Free'”

“President chokes on
pretzel stick”
“Best friend shot in face
by Dick”

“Suicide bomber explodes
and 72 virgins
take the news poorly”

“Illegal sues when he trips
over border”
“Actress wins Oscar,
thanks eating disorder”

“Mom who drowns baby:
‘Commanded by God'”
“Cult’s final words:
‘The punch sure tastes odd”

“NASA warns meteor
headed for earth”
“World riveted as
TomKat gives birth”